No Plan 'B'
by geeves
Summary: A oneshot where Dean is faced with a situation for which there is no plan 'B' for a change. He has to deal with the aftermath of the actions he is forced to take during the latest hunt.


Diclaimers: Still don't own Supernatural... although I wouldn't mind borrowing Dean for a little while...lol

There are no spoilers in this. It is once again just a product over my over-active imagination.

This is a one-shot where Dean is faced with a situation where there is no plan B for a change. I've gotta warn you, there is _plenty_ of angst in this one.

As always, please review/critique/offer feedback. Most of all: hope you enjoy!

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**_No Plan 'B'_**

For the first time ever there was no plan B.

She was dying in his arms and he didn't know what to do. Dean Winchester, the Man with the Answers. Protector, Fighter and Killer of all that is Evil was now completely helpless in the face of what was to come.

"Oh God Rhea, _what have I done to you_." His ragged whisper was pure anguish. His hands had done this. His voice had spoken the words in order to complete the exorcism. He had killed her and she had only really begun to live. Only twenty-five years old and even in death she was more concerned with others than herself. Struggling to sit up she put a hand on his cheek. "Dean, don't blame yourself. Please don't do that. You only did what you had to do. That wasn't me. You know it wasn't. That thing did this to me, not you."

The pain he felt was there, sharp and bright in his eyes. "Look at you: dying and still trying to make me feel better. God Rhea what am I going to do with you?" his laugh broke halfway into a sob. "God Rhea, what the hell am I going to do _without_ you?"

Dean Winchester does not cry. He masks his pain with sarcasm, dry wit and a smart ass attitude. Now in the face of this innocent girl's death he found all three were failing him. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks and into her hair.

Her breath was becoming shallower with each passing minute. There wasn't much time left… so very little time. Her blue eyes were turning a dull gray even as he sat there cradling her to his chest. Her body was becoming heavier He was losing her… and there was absolutely _nothing_ he could do about it.

A little more time, please God, just give her a little more time. Maybe if I can get her to the hospital or back to the motel then Sammy and I can find a way to save her. Just a little more time… please? He didn't dare speak the words aloud but they were a constant chant echoing constantly in his head.

But there would be no reprieves. Rhea would die. It was that simple. She only hoped that she'd be able to watch over Dean… and Cody from wherever she was going. Poor Cody… he was still just a baby really. Five years old and already he'd lost his father. She was all he had left and he was about to lose her too. What would he do without her? Fear gripped her momentarily, causing her to grip Dean's hand a little tighter, wasting what little energy she had left.

"Dean? Where is he? Where's Cody?" Her eyes were wide and scared. "Shh, it's okay. He's with Sammy back at the hotel. Don't worry sweetheart, he's safe." "But…" he could barely hear her whisper in the heavy silence that had come over the room. "He'll be alone Dean. All alone…" Oh no, no way he was going to let her die afraid and sad. Not for Cody, not for anyone.

"Rhea, you listen to me. I promised you I'd take care of him… I promised you and I have done it and I will keep doing it. I swear to you that as long as I have breath left in my body that boy will _not ever _be alone." Holding her close, he willed her to hear him. To understand what he was saying. "Tell him I'm sorry Dean." "Oh honey you have _nothing_ to be sorry for. This wasn't your fault." It was tearing him apart. As if it wasn't enough that she was suffering physically… her worry for Cody was a tangible force. He couldn't stop what was coming. He knew that. Was it so much to ask for her to find peace before it happened?

Wishes don't usually come true for Dean Winchester, nightmares do instead. This time he got lucky, he knew it the moment she relaxed against him with a small smile.

"Tell him I love him Dean." she said as softly as a sigh. "I will Rhea, I will." "Thank you… for everything." "Oh god. Don't. Don't thank me, please don't thank me for this." He begged her, but it was too late. She left him then quietly on her next breath. The last one she would ever take. "Sweetheart I am _so sorry_." He whispered into the now empty room. Empty except for the man who sat on the floor in the exact middle of the salt circle, completely devastated with a dead woman in his arms.

* * *

The paramedics had arrived mere minutes after her death. They'd tried to revive her, but Dean had known they'd fail. Rhea had gone to a better place before they had even stepped foot in the room.

Heart failure is what they'd called it, and they were right to a certain extent. The demon that had possessed her had known how important she was to Dean. As a last act of retaliation for the exorcism the demon had attacked Rhea's already damaged heart. If it hadn't been for that she would have had a fighting chance. Instead she had died in the circle of his arms in the middle of her own living room.

If… if it hadn't been for him Cody would still have a mom… He wondered how the kid would take the news. Whatever happened one thing was certain: this was going to be a very long day.

It was done. The loose ends were tied up and there was only one place left to go… back to the hotel… to Sammy… and to Cody. Suddenly feeling very tired and very old he sat behind the wheel of his cherished car praying for the second time that day for the strength he needed to see it through.

* * *

He could hear giggling on the other side of the door. Sammy was laughing too, and from the sounds of it he was tickling the kid silly. Dean didn't know whether to smile or break down and cry again. He would be strong of course. Cody needed him to be, just like Sam and their Dad still did. There would be no room for tears once he stepped through that door. He owed Cody more than that.

With a hand on the handle he took one last deep breath to steady himself and then pushed it open.

"Uncle Dean! You're back!" High pitched and squealing with happiness Cody ran across the room as fast as his little legs could take him. About a foot away from Dean he launched himself in the air, completely confident that the man would catch him mid-flight. Uncle Dean would _never _let him fall.

"Whoahaho!" Dean laughed as he not only caught the boy, but swung him around full circle before settling him on his hip. Taking a quick look around the motel room he absorbed the sight of the wreckage that it had become. "Aha! I see you and Uncle Sammy have been busy today… Hmm, let's see if I can figure this out…" hugging Cody a little closer he swayed him around wildly as he walked around the room from one mess of toys to the next.

"Now these blocks wouldn't be New York city would they?" he asked pointing to the three tall towers made of large colorful Lego that stood proudly between the two queen beds. They were the center of the mess and all the toys seemed to either be coming towards or leaving from the little city of blocks. "Yup! Uncle Sammy helped me build 'em. King Kong was getting ress'less. He needed som'ting to climb." The small black gorilla that had been Rhea's last gift to Cody stood between the towers looking for all the world as if he actually was going to climb them. The name of the beast had been Cody's idea. He'd decided on it after watching the old black and white favorite on TV late at night with Dean a few nights earlier. That had been before Rhea's possession… before today… before everything.

"Uncle Dean, why do you look so sad?" Cody asked, worry clouding his tiny features. Worry was the last thing he wanted the boy to be feeling, especially for him. "Dean?" Sam asked picking up on his brothers quiet, knowing something was wrong. He had to stop taking these deep steadying breaths. They weren't working at all, and they were worrying Cody and Sam.

There as no getting around it. He wouldn't make Cody suffer by stalling his answer and making him wait. So with a deep sigh he sat down on the bed closest to Sam and sat Cody in his lap. He'd expected the difficult question to come from Cody. It was a shock to hear it come from Sam instead. "So, how's Rhea doing?" he asked carefully. Pressing his lips tightly together in an effort to control emotions that were still dangerously close to the surface Dean met his brother's eye and shook his head sadly.

"Is Mommy okay?" Cody asked, picking up on the sudden change of mood that had come over the men who in the last few days had become his whole universe. Rhea had been right, he was one perceptive kid. Beyond his years. Looking into those big brown eyes Dean wondered if _anything_ would ever be okay again.

"Um, listen dude. You and me… we're going to have to have a bit of a man-to-man talk." "You mean like th'other day about the ghosts and demons an' stuff?" he asked, eager to learn more about the things that went bump in the night. Dean cringed a little at that, hating that Cody had needed to learn that little bit of reality at such a young age. "Sort of like that…yeah." God, Sammy, Dean pleaded silently, help me out a little here. "You want me to give you two a minute?" Sam asked, already knowing what Dean was going to say. "No. No, Sam this has to do with you too. You better stay."

"Where's Mommy? She was supposed to come back with you." "That's what we need to talk about Cody. Mommy… well she's… she's not coming back here tonight buddy." He almost choked, almost broke down. It had almost been too much for him to bear and yet somehow he managed to push through the pain and get the words out without tears. "When _is _she coming back?"

"Well Cody the thing is… she can't come back." Years of hiding hurt were serving him well. Apart from the hoarseness of his voice there was no outward sign of the agony he was in. Innocent wide eyes watched his every move, took in his every word as he explained to Cody that his Mom had gone to visit his Dad up in Heaven. Dean didn't know if he believed in heaven or anything like it but it's what Rhea had wanted Cody to believe so believe it he would.

"But if Mommy went to visit Daddy then that means she can't come back." Poor Cody looked from Dean to Sam and back again, very obviously feeling completely lost. "Hey, don't worry dude. You're not alone. Uncle Sammy and I are here. I promised your Mom we'd take care of you." The little boy's bottom lip began to quiver and his eyes filled with tears. Sam was rubbing his back lightly, but Cody shook him off and leaned into Dean's chest. As soon as his cheek made contact with the older man's warm body the dam of tears broke down and the boy began to cry.

All Sam could see of Cody was the back of his sweatshirt and the mop of tousled brown hair. Dean had completely wrapped his arms around the boy and was rocking him back and forth, letting him have the breakdown he needed. Patient as always Dean just sat there offering his own strength to the shaking little bundle who was curled tightly into himself. Little hands were gripping his shirt tightly. Sam was hit suddenly with the realization that Dean knew exactly how Cody was feeling. He'd been there before… but it had been different then because he'd had their Dad. Life had come full circle for his brother and it broke Sam's heart to see it. Maybe there was a reason this had happened… Maybe Dean and Cody needed each other to heal old and fresh wounds alike.

God knows they had both felt the positive effect of the last few days with the little guy. His innocence was like a breath of fresh air. Knowing that they could protect it, keep him from loosing his innocence at too young an age… it did good things for the brothers. Their past was done and over with and there was nothing they could do to change it. Cody's future though they could do something about. His life was completely in their hands now.

Sam's heart was breaking for Dean. Loosing Rhea would stay with his brother for the rest of his life. There had been love there, of a kind that Sam had never seen in Dean before. Watching Cody go through this had to be tearing him apart.

How long Dean sat there just letting the kid cry he just didn't know. His own tears were falling too, deep inside his soul where no one would ever see them.

After a while Cody's tears began to lessen and the death grip he'd had on Dean's shirt loosened little by little. Deep wracking sobs turned into quiet little hiccups. The small boy, feeling completely and utterly safe in 'Uncle Dean's' arms had cried himself to sleep.

"Hey Sammy, hand me King Kong will ya?" he whispered.

As Sam handed him the stuffed toy his eyes met Deans. He could see it all written clearly in his brothers eyes. All the pain. All the hurt. All the disappointment. Dean would never know it but Sam had always been able to read him as easily as a well loved book.

"Could you, uh, go grab me a coffee or something? I need a minute alone with the kid." Dean looked and sounded as wrecked as he felt. Of course Sam would give him a minute. He'd give his brother anything in the world if it meant helping him get through this.

"Sure… yeah." Sam's voice was soft and soothing "You want something to eat too?" "Yeah… um, yeah." Suddenly very aware that he hadn't eaten since lunch the day before. "Could you grab me a burger?" Just a little longer… he just had to hold it together a little longer until Sam left the room. "Okay, I'll pick up the usual." Sam picked up his jacket and was just opening up the door when Dean called out to him again. "Hey Sam?" he turned in the doorway to look at his brother "What is it?" In one smooth motion Dean tossed the keys to him. "Take the car." He wanted to hear Sam coming back so he could pull himself together in time to hide it all.

"Thanks Dean." Then Sam was gone, and Dean was alone with the sleeping boy in his arms.

He took his time pulling back the sheets on the bed beneath him and placing Cody carefully on it. He'd watched Rhea do it a few times before and did his best to pour all the love he had into the small simple movements just as she had. King Kong was tucked into the circle of the little boys arms and then the blanket was wrapped firmly around both of them. He had the same peaceful look Rhea had earlier as she closed her eyes for the last time.

Dean leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Cody's forehead and watched him smile sweetly in his sleep. That's when the first tear came, silently tracing a line all the way down his stubbled cheek "I promised your Mom kid, and I'm making that same promise to you now. As long as I am breathing you will never be alone. Sammy and I, we're going to love you and keep you safe just like your Mom wanted. I know you can't hear me dude, but that doesn't matter. The promise is made and you're safe and that's all you need to know." The sight that escaped Deans lips came straight from the depths of the pain in his heart. There was nothing more for him to say… at least not until the little guy woke up again.

They would be okay. Between the three of them he knew that they would carry each other through this and eventually it would be okay again… Sam would come back soon, they would eat and then he would get some rest if he could. In the morning they would head out… Probably back to Kansas and to Missouri's so they could figure out how to handle having Cody on the road with them with school and all the things kids needed. They would figure it out, and everything would be okay. Maybe not normal, but definitely okay. Right now though, there wasn't much of anything that felt even _close_ to okay.

Feeling like death warmed over Dean slowly trudged his way across the room to the chair. Lowering himself down into its depths he put his head in his hands and allowed himself, just this once, to fall completely and utterly to pieces.


End file.
